Calashnikov

What? But it was on a handheld console. Like, in order to touch the controls, you'd need to be holding the console in your hands. How would placing it down on a stand make it easier to play? I take it there must have been dodgy stylus action involved in the gameplay or something?

What was that stand actually supposed to bring to the Kid Icarus experience? I never played it (although, it's definitely yet another game I'd love to see brought over to Switch).

Japanese for vertical, innit?

Indeed it is!

Although, to be fair, any western gamer who actually does pronounce TATE mode "correctly" is a cunt. See also Ico.

Cunt also pronounced "TATE mode" like the art gallery. Safe to say he dun goofed with his Ikaruga pronunciation.

I reckon it's more pronounced "ee-KAH-ru-ga," rather than the reviewer's "eekah-RU-ga". I did one semester of Japanese 101 at uni, managing to pass the oral exam (under remediation) half-pished from several quadruple vodka and orange juices from the student union the night before. I was spewing water before they papped me out. I actually had Ikaruga on the Gamecube back in those days, having originally played it pirate on my flatmate's Dreamcast. I've definitely got the correct pronunciation. I'll be buying it on Switch.

Get it on Switch so you can chip away at it on your lunch break and before conking out for the night in bed.

This ma shit:

One bit I laughed my ass off at was when he described one of the Glasgow neds he’d got up on stage as looking like a crackhead version of Jason Statham

It's actually the second time I've seen him. The first time, maybe 4 years ago, was a fucking disaster. He was touring just by himself, like you said, not even with his own DJ. I think he was just collaborating with local DJ's on a gig-by-gig basis or something. Anyway, you could tell the lack of preparation and synergy between R.A. and our guy caught them both out (a local living legend, btw) and they had a bit of a bust-up on stage. It was awkward as hell. Because of the crowd's loyalty to our DJ, the whole place turned on R.A. It wasn't a good vibe, let's put it that way. He was getting all defensive, dudes in the crowd stole his hat, he lost his shit at that, etc, etc. R.A.'s grandfather is actually from Glasgow, seemingly. I remember him sarcastically saying on the mic "Welcome back to the motherland, huh?" But this current tour, however, is as tight a fucking rap show as I've ever seen. His hypegirl Angel Davanport and his DJ Psalm One were fucking dope. It's also just really cool to see R.A. flanked and supported by two really strong female artists, weirdly. You somehow couldn't imagine the young R.A. sharing the stage with two girls who weren't at least stripped naked So shout out to them, they really helped turn it out. Superb show.

Yo troops. If no cunt hears from me in the next wee while it’s because I’m dead. R.A. the Rugged Man came to my town and destroyed it.

Big ups, Rowan Morrison. I fannied about on that Wu Name Generator at the time. It gave me the name Big Gay Mule and told me to use it wisely, soldier.

No joke, I’d be up for New Style Boutique Switch.

Why the fuck were people crashing websites trying to buy fucking Night Trap? Bunch of perverts / hipsters.