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Everything posted by Floshenbarnical

  1. I agree, I read it on a returns chart thing at work and once on the internet but I can't find the link If I could afford a 60GB PS3 again I'd get one but I bought a car since I traded it in.
  2. And it evokes such powerful memories I use it all the time in my writing and I think it's really effective. Really.
  3. I'd like to see the man who was accused with spraying woman's shoes with water's face realised in this thread
  4. I prefer killing people without weapons because it's a lot more difficult. I pushed his bitch into the shark tank and then sat on the elevator. When he came into it I strangled him.
  5. What? It's completely realistic to repair the Callahan Bridge in the space of ten minutes
  6. Easiest missions for 5 Expert SA: A Vintage Year Curtains Down A New Life Flatline A House of Cards You Better Watch Out
  7. It's a fine stand-alone action game, with the exceptions of QTE which should die in a fire But people barefacedly lie and are all "Whoooo this captured the feel of the film!!!11one!" without even realising that it almost completely rejects all the etics the films impose on you
  8. So many cranes that drop you on rooftops with no way down WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
  9. Someone who keeps coming into my shop every day for two hours on end was trying to convince me why GoW 2 was going to be the most influential game ever, going on about the intense story and the vivid characters, and how he couldn't wait to find out what happened. In the end I snapped and spoiled it for him: Generic over-muscular Tourette's sufferers swear a lot and kill aliens, and win. The end. EDIT: This was severely off-topic. Oh well, rant over.
  10. First time I did that I followed birdman to the house where Mark Puryah was and went upstairs in the bookstore and shot him through the wall. EPIC.
  11. I tried it on normal but it didn't work which I attributed to the lack of backup which I was told was a prerequisite to success.
  12. Look I know I haven't posted much here and therefore this is a bit rude but Have ANY OF YOU watched the films? The game does not capture the feeling of the film, or the character at all! The embassy escape is tolerable at best and it really did try hard to make it exciting but persistent QTEs that are so outdated it hurts really kicked me in the face. Why do we have QTEs? Do developers think we are stupid or something? Surely just make it a real time event- you are running down a corridor, shit! A barrier falls! Roll underneath it! Oh, you messed it up. Turn around and cue getting arrested/ riddled with bullets. I think they are stupid and cack-handed and unnecessary. As for the shooting, when did you see Jason Bourne get into a massive linear shootout? Jason Bourne would observe the situation and make the kill with 263 separate contingency plans that would enable him to kill the target undetected if he ballsed it up which being the most highly trained individual since since Free Willy he would not do! If he did fuck it up he'd predict where the target was going and circle around and shoot him in the back of the head in an alleyway. It's bollocks. Don't get me started on the driving! It's like something out of Nightfire except about eleven times worse! As has been mentioned the streets in the film are narrow and Bourne has to rely on his luck and instincts and the agility of the little Mini by weaving down backstreets and little staircases that flummox the useless Parisian police. I've never seen streets in Paris that wide and I've been there like three times! The car handles like it's being towed on elastic behind an invisible car and as for "avoid the police until the tunnel is clear"- fuck off! Are developers really that lazy that they can't be bothered to make a really interesting scripted action chase where the emphasis isn't on powersliding but on avoidance and reflex like the much-touted Embassy chase? Goodness, people!
  13. Tried it about 10 times before success, the parameters are very arbitrary and tighter than <insert innuendo> I fired 17 shots and killed 22 people in mine! Three people with one shot through their heads once.
  14. Do you mean "Special rating"? If so, go to A New Life on Professional with your fully maxed out WA2000- MAKE SURE YOU HAVE BOLT ACTION TAKEN OFF -and go in the tree house. From there snipe the guard next to the pool. Don't miss. People will come running. Waste them all until backup arrives. Continue wasting people and don't miss a shot. They keep running over to the bodies because the AI is special. When nobody comes running for a few minutes, pack up and go to the house opposite the target's and open the door in the garage without the fat woman next to the hedge noticing. Stand in the doorway and snipe the guards outside the fron door if possible. Pack up. Go to the back of the van with your rifle while the jogger isn't around and unpack your rifle and open the door and shoot both occupants. Take a uniform. Pack up your sniper rifle and go into the house. There shouldn't be any guards left which is good but if the cunt guard in the sitting room is then cut the electricity outside and then run out and waste him from a distance. Wait for "Slugger" to come back into the lounge and shoot him in the back of the head with the WA2000 and drag his corpse into the little cupboard behind the sofa. The bint should be running around aimlessly so follow her, sedate her, and take her pendant. Change back into suit, make sure you have all weapons and clear out. This rating is called Russian Hare and is the easiest one to achieve; it's based upon 100% shot-kill ratio. I recommend saving after each kill you make which IS possible because: On every difficulty apart from Expert, you can have infinite saves. Click the "Save" option, choose the slot and press A and while it is saving press START. This will save the game but fool the game into thinking you haven't. I don't know why this works.
  15. First console I ever owned was my N64. Ocarina of Time took up so much of my life, I even wrote an epic fanfic story based on it aged 11 and it was 200 pages long Just wandering around Hyrule Field and Zora's domain was so relaxing as young Link and Gerudo Valley after the Gerudo stop hating you as adult Link. It brings back memories... Another good memory was the first NFS when I used to sneak into my brother's room when he was at school and play on his PSX. Speaking of smells, the smell of my favourite aftershave LaCoste Essential reminds me of the summer and my motorbike which I will be using after exams again Because I sprayed it inside my helmet so that it didn't smell rancid after a long journey
  16. I did Tail Light Sonata on Hard FEARRRRR MEEEEEEE
  17. Is it just me or is Boom Boom Rocket the most addictive amazing arcade game in the world?
  18. Yeah. I get the constant feeling that the game is reigning me in by the developers saying NO, THIS is what we want you to do and how we want you to do it! But sandbox should be you deciding what you want to do and how you want to do it, and the constant emphasis on their perception of "realism" stops it from being as enjoyable as it could be.
  19. Incorrect, they are owned by the same people that own Game and are thus separate entities. And surely everything you buy is covered by the 1979 Sale of Goods Act which says that anything you buy should be reasonably expected to last for 6 years (witht the exception of, say, cake) at which point the manufacturer is legally obliged to offer you an exchange? Someone I know used this against MS.
  20. Stuff that seems realistic which they wouldn't quite be able to do in real life. I want to be able to get a grappling hook, climb a building, snipe my target and then abseil down and if that's not in keeping with the "story of struggle and angst of a foreign newcomer in a strange world seeking answers and revenge" then GTA IV can FUCK RIGHT OFF I also want to be able to save photographs
  21. Well if anyone wants help getting 1000 just ask, not to sound arrogant but I've put so many hours into this game I know it back to front. My favourite level was Mardi Gras, simply for little reasons like seeing so many tits in one street that I became permanently aroused for six weeks or going into a bar wearing the correct clothing (rocker, jazz etc) and seeing 47 dance around. The 5 Silent Assassins on Expert isn't too difficult as long as you walk around and work out exactly what you're going to do and then restart and do it. Don't hesitate! Have purpose at all times and keep your concentration because the game is so precisely timed that if you lose it for a few seconds you'll have to sit through another ten minutes. This is especially relevant in A House of Cards
  22. Hey man the 360 is still less than 3 years old so it's still covered by Microsoft for repair under their 3-years manufacturer's guarantee no matter when you bought it...? Or is that just for RROD I hear if you wrap it in a towel it'll do it. But the newer models that have HDMI sockets are less susceptible to it
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