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Floshenbarnical

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  1. Floshenbarnical

    Gaming things a younger you would never believe

    When I had completed Vice City I just roamed the city basically forever getting to know every inch of it and I was like “lol imagine if there was multiplayer and you and your friends could form gangs and do crimes together and have your own empire and fight each other or the cops in the streets and get into sick chases with helicopters and machine guns and do stunts with each other over the internet, oh well, that seems impossible”
  2. I’m reading this having a shit, and I thought I was done until I saw this and then I laughed so hard a little bit more came out
  3. Jesus. Christ. 1/10 Reminds me of the last LOTR movie where the last hour is just people saying goodbye. Came off like fan fiction today, which I suppose it is. Its like the end of a Shonda Rhimes TV episode like Gray’s Anatomy: music happens over a montage of “moving” scenes, the end. Also, all of the Big Cool Things i.e. Jon’s lineage etc never came into play whatsoever.
  4. Floshenbarnical

    Are cutscenes necessary?

    Ok so I mostly agree with you - RDR2 is a terrible western constructed entirely out of tropes and clichés, and I find that most “stories” and cutscenes within games exist purely to give you context to the (in most cases) acts of violence you’re committing. Then there are are some games that are all story (usually melodramatic and also constructed from tropes) and very little gameplay, e.g. the many David Cage garbage fires. For me, the medium is at its best when a game hits that equilibrium somewhere in the middle, where it takes the mediums of cinema and video game and elevates them into something altogether quite different, that transcends what each medium is capable of individually. That’s why TLOU was so powerful for me - the dialogue and characterization are fantastic, for sure, as is the score, and the visuals, and the subtle visual metaphors hidden here and there which mirror or contrast latent themes in the story, but combination of all that shit with the gameplay is what took my breath away. I felt like I was in it. Anxious, wistful, full of dread, and yet tentatively hopeful. So yeah most examples are poor but there are some standouts I guess that do a better job than a film could do, because of the interaction between gameplay and storytelling. Re: books and films, the Modernists (e.g. Hemingway were pretty interested in what film was capable of and (consciously or otherwise) attempted to use some of the principles of filmmaking in their writing, which is why we say “show, don’t tell” all the time - memesis vs diegesis. I’m sure someone with better Lit qualifications than me will have something to add but yeah I guess I’m interested in that interplay in games - I can’t play casual shmups for example, I like stories. I also will admit that most cutscenes are stagnant and poorly handled and there are many games e.g. Limbo that tell stories with no cutscenes with amazing success. I hope devs keep learning and growing. No more fucking RDR2 cutscenes followed by 10-minute expositional ride-alongs to the mission, plz
  5. Floshenbarnical

    Are cutscenes necessary?

    Name them. Other than Children of Men, which is an almost-apocalyptic story so doesn’t necessarily count, I can’t think of one. The Last of Us is banging. Terrifying, and compelling.
  6. Floshenbarnical

    Elite Dangerous - Noobs now welcome....

    I bought the Black Friday jobs for all the ships I plan on owning. Graphite is a good second place.
  7. I just said the same thing. “Wow, she went from 0-60 quicker than a Tesla.” Bet Jon wishes he’d just given her a kiss and calmed her down. I’m on the west coast so don’t have time for a patented Floshenbarnical rant but will make time later if people are up for it
  8. Floshenbarnical

    Ketchup

    Haha, we used to have that review pinned up in the work kitchen. The grocery store near my house has an aisle named “Catsup” which not only is what Ketchup is apparently called in upstate NY but also shorthand for all condiments. There is is another aisle called “Oriental” which in addition to Asian food also contains Mexican food and some British stuff.
  9. Floshenbarnical

    Ketchup

    Also I’ve been to restaurants with Michelin stars and asked for salt before, and worked in some restaurants with Beard awards where people have asked for salt. No one cares. if they do care they’re insecure cunts who don’t deserve your money. There’s so much snobbery, ego and cuntiness in food and beverage that does not need to be perpetuated or endorsed.
  10. Floshenbarnical

    Ketchup

    Well, salt makes a thing taste more like itself. Most high-end bars are using a few drops of salt solution in many of their cocktails to enhance flavors that are otherwise overshadowed. It’s like using acid when making a syrup. If you put a bunch of strawberries in a blender with some sugar syrup then it’ll end up tasting like red sweet goop but if you add an appropriate amount of lemon juice/ citric acid powder it suddenly tastes just like strawberries. Just like adequately seasoning a steak with salt makes it taste more steaky. I think scientifically it has something to do with how our tastebuds interpret flavor and salinity. Maybe the salt acts as a carrier molecule for flavor like fat does. I don’t know. I’m not Heston Blumenthal I suppose. As for pepper, freshly cracked black pepper is delightful. Maybe it became so popular due to chronic tobacco smoking - my dad is a heavy smoker and he pathologically carpet bombs his food with pepper from a shaker “or it doesn’t taste like anything.” Maybe the mild heat wakes his palate up. Ok cool so you’re a shit host with a big ego Everyone’s palate is different do you dictate how much milk someone’s allowed in their coffee lol
  11. Fucking terrible. Sam:
  12. As usual they’ve got someone’s name wrong at Starbucks. It’s “Jon.”
  13. Yeah perfectly described.
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