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Everything posted by SqueakyG

  1. I guess this website is going to trade on its "Honesty". Like, "Hey, I'm the guy who got fired for being honest, so you know you'll always get honest reviews here!" Until they need the sponsorship...
  2. GTA1: Crap. Never liked it. You can't see ahead of you when you're driving fast. It's punishingly, unfairly hard. I never got off Liberty City, because you have to complete about 20 missions before you can save, and I could never complete more than 3 or 4. GTA2, London 1969: Never played them. GTAIII: The best of the series. Sure, it's prototypical of what later developed -- Claude never talks, cutscenes are basic, no bikes or flying (besides the dodo), fake songs on the radio. But it's got the best city. Liberty is complex and varied. It's also just the right size -- as soon as you get a little bored of one island, it's time for the next island to open up. Mafia theme is great. A full hour of Lazlow on Chatterbox, and the best adverts. Vice City: Production values are so much better: more entertaining cutscenes, funnier missions, flying and bikes, the best hits of the 80s on the radio, such attention to detail of the 1980s and Scarface homage. But the city is the worst: flat, simple and boring. Some people say "It's actually bigger than Liberty's map", but yeah, most of it is a straight beach! Also, I simply don't like Miami very much as a location. It's a place I'd never want to visit. San Andreas: This one is strange. In some ways the biggest and best, but in some ways it was a mistake. I think there's just too MUCH game here. The map is too big for the game it contains. In Liberty and Vice, the cities were exactly the right size for the number of missions that take place in them: you learned every street by heart, and nothing was redundant. But in San Andreas, you always feel like a tourist rather than a resident, because you'll never learn every street. Whole blocks of the cities are redundant, because no missions ever take you there. Just as Los Santos started to become familiar, it took me into the countryside; just as San Fierro started to become familiar, it took me to the desert; just as Las Venturas started to become familiar... you know what I mean. Also, I felt San Andreas tried to squeeze every genre of videogaming in, but they were all crap minigame versions. So you had the rhythm/dancing missions that weren't as good as a real rhythm/dancing game, the racing that wasn't as good as a real racing game, the flight sim that wasn't as good as a real flight sim, and so on. And the gangsta thing of course. Most of the time I actually found it depressing. It ISN'T a culture that needs to be glamorised. Maybe it was quite an astute social commentary: the gangsta activities feel like ignorant petty people treating crime and murder like a childrens game... which is what gangsta culture is like, when you think about it. Also, by San Andreas, and definitely the "Stories" titles on the PSP, the quality of writing and comedy had taken a downward turn. The humour on the radio was starting to become forced and too silly. Cheekiness sometimes crossed the line into nastiness. There are too many "69" jokes everywhere (why does everything that needs a number need to be 69?). This makes me wonder if Dan Houser and Lazlow can actually put enough soul into GTA4, to make it any better than Saints Row.
  3. I tried to enjoy Resident Evil 4, but just couldn't. My reasons: - The PS2 sticks are too sticky and have such a big dead zone, I couldn't aim - I had just got an LCD TV for hi-def gaming, so PS2 resolution looked ugly. Especially RE4, which looked even lower than standard-res. - Brown. Brown. Brown. Almost a blob of green. Brown. - It was too damn scary! Not in an enjoyable way, just a stressful way. - QTEs. I watched a lot of YouTube videos to catch up on the entire story, and guess what? It looked like stupid comedic tosh of the highest order. Made me glad I didn't persevere.
  4. SqueakyG


    I played this on the PS2 and tried to like it, but I somehow stopped playing after a few hours and never got back into it. I liked the style and the atmosphere, but I dunno... I think when the town started to open up, I got confused. I expected it to be a game about school life, but it quickly became a game where you leave school grounds as fast as you can each day, to do a sandbox city game. The rules for daily life were too confusing and restrictive -- you have to get back to bed at night, you have to attend classes or you're a truant, etc. It was like there weren't enough hours in the day.
  5. Hmmm, I can't decide something. I said I didn't have time to play the game twice, but I might make room. I want to see what all the renegade dialogue is like. However, I can't decide whether to replay with my level 46 character or start fresh. I dread starting from scratch at level 1 and Mark I items, because I want to have a faster playthrough with no grinding. But do I want to waste the opportunity to have a fresh gender, voice, and personal background? I can't decide
  6. I laughed out loud at some of the renegade choices when I saw them, and really wanted to click on them, but I thought it would waste the opportunity to get some paragon points. And I was scared of permanently ruining relationships with my crew (wasn't sure how many of them were available to shag!) Certainly. My 360 has a rubbish disc drive. All games suffer at least one dirty disc error, and some are crippled by it. But it's two years old and I suffered with it, thinking it wasn't quite "broken" enough to get a replacement. I'm thankful I only had a few DDE's with Mass Effect. Sometimes it paused with a "loading" sign while I was in an elevator! Besides the elevators, I was all too aware of the tricks the game used to conceal loading. The inside of the Normandy has such a complicated design -- pointless staircases and walls, doors you must press to open -- so that it can load areas behind the walls. I'd like to play again as a renegade. But I don't have time. I must move on to other things.
  7. I'm playing this now, and avoiding spoilers until I've finished. First of all, I must be playing really sloooowly, because I'm up to 39 hours and I'm not finished! I've done every planet sidequest that's come up, and I guess I'm just slow and deliberate in general. There are so many flaws with the game (which I'll list in a moment), but I'm loving it so much. The first few hours put a huge sci-fi geek smile on my face. I felt such joy at entering a sci-fi universe like Babylon 5's. There are so many rich inventive details. Once I start playing each day, I can't put it down until I've finished a whole chunk of story. I'm talking 12-hour sessions. But the flaws: - Menus and inventory management are unintuitive. You won't even know there are only 150 inventory slots unless you go to GameFAQs. - Terrible popup, slowdown. Battles should be fun, but it's difficult to fight at 5 frames per second. - Load times... you have to reeealy like elevators. And the dirty disc error. - Why are all planet bases the same? Couldn't they have made randomized prefabs? - You'll still try for 100% paragon or 100% renegade. Screw choice and "saying whatever you feel at the time." -- You know the goody-goody dialog is at the top and the rude cunt option is below. Not that the game even tells you the reward for building either of them. Still, now I've maxed the paragon bar, I might suddenly develop a personality disorder and be a rude xenophobic twat to everyone. - Impossible to make an attractive female Shepard. The default duckface version is as good as she gets. - Liara is such a pricktease. Where's the hardcore action already?
  8. It's funny reading these previews. The journos are gushing about all these new features, but I kept thinking, "Yeah that was in Saints Row... that was in Saints Row... that was in Saints Row too..."
  9. I read that Edge article, and it basically said this: "Lets worry that the Xbox 360 is failing. I mean, yes, it has an excellent online service. And sure, it has the best library of games. And okay, nearly all games run better on the 360. But lets worry anyway. Lets plant the seeds of failure by being pessimistic. You know how many units overheat, and how there's going to be some good PS3 games this year. So... lets hate the Xbox."
  10. Has anyone actually SEEN this tourist mode? I find it impossible to get a game. It took me ages to realise it's only an online custom match thing -- you can't do it alone. I set up a lobby, but couldn't play until there were at least two players. And nobody ever came in! Then I tried to join other people's lobbies... but they were always "race in progress", forever. Nobody on my friends list has played PGR4 since the month it came out.
  11. Yes! This has become more noticeable. If you're driving in the middle of the road between lanes, the traffic in the oncoming lane swerves to hit you! When it really doesn't have to! I've got over 30 hours on the clock, half way through the Burnout license. And I still take wrong turns. I'm finally familiar with most streets, but I can still get confused about complicated junctions at high speeds.
  12. In Halo 3 campaign mode, the marines' dialogue often references gamer slang, for comic effect. You know, the way people talk on Xbox Live when they're playing Halo. I also remembered the comedy endings in the Silent Hill games, especially the Dog ending of Silent Hill 2. (Was going to show a youtube video, but I'm new here, and can't find instructions for embedding).
  13. When you're sent out to the Wind Farm, and you're half way through your Burnout licence, you certainly are more than one intersection away from an event. You've done all the events nearby. The nearest event may be a Marked Man two miles away, and you're currently in a Speed car, and the junkyard is three miles away. For most events, I agree. I don't go back and retry Races, Marked Man, Road Rage or Stunt Runs. I just find another. However... Burning Routes... I definitely drive all the way back to do those. If I went all the way to a junkyard to get the car, then scoured the map for the bourning route junction, then drove all the way there, I think I've decided that I want to nail the event. I don't want to lose my focus and do something else. I think I'm almost finished with the game, anyhow. I'm on the Burnout license, and planned to at least get the Elite license, but I think I've hit the peak of my skill level. Races are now made insane by the AI drivers. They're mental. They cause so much carnage ahead of me that I have to watch out for the crashed cars they leave behind. They very aggressively take me down as well, which is fair enough, but I can't help thinking, "Come on, I'm not trying to take you down, I'm in a Speed car, I just want a fair race." I already have too much to worry about without fighting. I've done all the stunt runs within driving distance of the quarry. Not going to try any more. Road Rages are just a chore. I have a few billboards that I can't solve the puzzle for... but apart from that, I think I'm finished. One more play session, I guess.
  14. Hello. I'm pretty frustrated with Burnout Paradise. There's a very solid Burnout game in there, and I actually get the "seamless sandbox" idea. But there's just so much that doesn't work. The biggest problem is the races. Other events work fine -- road rage, marked man and stunt runs are great. But races are ruined, without direction barriers and fixed routes. Planning your route destroys the fun of racing. You have to concentrate on so many things at once: the route you've planned in your mind, the minimap in the corner, the indicators at the top, and of course THE ROAD. Nearly every crash is caused by not being able to fully concentrate on the road. In slower and more realistic racing games the free-form racing idea would be great, but Burnout is too fast and frantic to make the player plan their route. And one wrong turn can ruin the race. Also, having only point-to-point races with only 8 destinations means there are no circuit races, and races never last more than a minute or so. I want to do laps! Here's my list of what Criterion need to fix, if they are to provide a patch, or improve the next game: - Fix it so that crashing whilst racing never resets the player in the wrong direction or the wrong road. - Provide the option to Un-invert the horizontal axis for looking around (its natural to invert the vertical axis, but come on, you've got left and right the wrong way round!) - Provide the option to not show the takedown cam, or slo-mo crash cam. - Provide the option for the minimap to rotate around a fixed player arrow (I still get my lefts and rights mixed up sometimes when not racing north). - Raise the camera angle so that you can see more of the road in front of your car. The viewing plane is too flat right now. - Provide the option to have more obvious left/right indicators (Burnout 1-style big green arrows, maybe?) - When the event brief shows you where the race starts and ends, the player might wish to study the map for a moment. Put "Press A to continue", instead of starting the race, and making the player immediately call up the menu. - Also, perhaps show an optimal route on this event brief. - When the player has smashed a gate, remove the rest of the gate, so the player doesn't constantly wish to revisit it to double-check it has been smashed. - DJ Atomica needs to be turned off completely -- he still patronises the player when failing an event. (Seriously Criterion, what the hell made you want to implement another DJ after the universal hatred of DJ Stryker? You're supposed to be making the best game you can -- so why add an element that you know everyone hates?) - The car selection screen is bad. It takes 4 seconds to read a car off the disc, but the player wants to flick through them much faster. The player is distracted by random cars whumping onto the screen while they're trying to look at the stats. Also, I don't like the cars looking beat up when I'm selecting them. I want to see them at their best. - A quick song skip control would be good. I wouldn't put it past EA to release a patch that implements direction barriers and restart options... for 800 points.
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