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chris on the moon

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  1. Someone on the podcast (sorry I forgot who) said Munya was like Buzz Lightyear. In toy story one before he realised he was just a toy.
  2. Resident Evil 5 (Gold Edition) (2009) I've got strong memories about how I felt about RE5 when it was released. After 4 proved to be the absolute best thing ever, it's fair to say that a few people were quite interested in a sequel. But as more details were released, lots of slightly concerning details came out. Most notably, Shinji Mikami left Capcom. Could the game thrive without its creator or would it just limp on like a soulless zombie? We started to see screenshots and were perplexed by Chris' big muscles. Then there was the racism controversy, where we all pointed out that obviously those weren't really men in the videos, they were monsters controlled by parasites, so it was all fine and racism wasn't an issue. Then it turned out the game was co-op only, co-op having become a big thing at this point in time. Maybe because of Gears of War and Halo 3? Personally, when 5 came out I was massively disappointed and decided that the “real” Resident Evil series was over. That said, I definitely played it quite a lot, so I must have gotten some enjoyment out of it. I'm sure that this time I can just set my expectations low and enjoy it for what it is, and settle down for some stupid slightly frustrating fun. But oh no, we're off to an appalling start. I am outraged to find the game is trying to install games for windows live, a horrible service that died about a decade ago because everyone hated it. I can't get around it, the game just won't launch. I have to resort to installing a dodgy looking patch from a link in someone's steam comment. It works fine though and the games starts. Welcome to Africa! It's war-torn, the government is destabilised, and there are terrorist hotspots everywhere, obviously. I immediately remember that this is the game where the radio constantly farts obnoxiously. The controls are a stark change from RE4. This ime I've decided that I'm going to try and get used to the default controls instead of changing them immediately to RE4 style controls. I give up after 5 minutes, they're dreadful and make no sense. Tilting the left stick left or right is either strafe or turn depending on whether you're running. It's baffling. I change back to the RE4 style controls, which means I don't get to strafe at all. The graphics are quite nice but there's a nasty green/brown filter over everything. It's quite cinematic I guess. The interface is pretty ugly. The two fonts are one that looks like a typewriter and one that looks a bit like papyrus (see the bottom right corner of screenshots). The item management is much worse than previous games. There's no combining treasures, there's arranging the items tetris-style in a case. The player and the partner both have only have 9 slots for items, throughout the whole game. My inventory was constantly full and it was a constant pain managing everything. I often just didn't have the right weapon for the job. The game doesn't pause for the inventory, which seeme like a deliberate decision so that it's a lot more stressful to use items. Oddly, though, you're back to being able to reload weapons by combining ammo and weapon on the inventory screen, meaning it's possible to cheat and reload very quickly. The merchant is sorely missed. The dialogue is awful, it's po-faced and serious, and fails to be funny or dramatic or cheesy. You shout “RELOAD!” every time you reload. Chris says things like “Zombies! I'm always fighting them!” The music is often really annoying. It's repetitive and tries too hard to be tense. Some of the enemy designs are pretty boring and feel uninspired. Some of them are pale imitations of their RE4 counterparts, and some of the new enemies aren't interesting. There's one guy who is just a bald shirtless fat guy. There's a man who is really big (but not that big). A lot of these enemies are real bullet sponges too, which feels cheap. A lot of the combat, to me, feels either too easy or too difficult. There's the welcome return of the lickers, which creep inexorably down corridors this time. It's a fun dynamic. Then there's the new “reapers”, bug things with cool sight obscuring effects and big bulging weak-spots. I like these. Several of the bosses are absolutely dreadful, and it's very unclear what you're supposed to be doing and if you're succeeding. The level design of the first few stages really disappoints me. It's a lot of cramped areas with right angles, little labyrinths where I'm endlessly walking around corners. For the first half of the game I feel like I enter an empty area, then oh no, enemies appear. We kill them all and move on. It's quite repetitive. It's not like resident evil 4, which was just a series of brilliant and unique set-pieces. I remembered liking the swamp bit. And ohhh dear. This sort of thing looks quite bad. There's a diary entry that says they've started dressing up like their ancestors, but I'm not buying it. I feel like the devs just wanted spear chucking grass skirt tribal savages and thought of an excuse afterwards. This is, however, the area where we get access to eggs. The game allows players to ask their partners for an egg. They say “gimme an egg”. It's a great game mechanic that I really appreciate. I enjoy the later levels a lot more than the earlier ones. The lost city is really fun, even if it feels a bit weird to loot archaeological treasures. The ship is good too, despite looking quite ugly. There's a weird bit later on in the game where it turns into a cover shooter, and starts to feel a bit gears of war. I get a sense that gears had an unreasonably big influence on this. I strongly dislike the focus on co-op, which feels like it comes and goes. There are a few bits where I felt like I was missing out by playing alone, and a lot of time where it felt totally like a single-player experience. The AI is often really frustrating. You have two options for AI behaviour – Cover and Attack. Cover means your partner sticks to your side and never uses anything but the handgun. Attack means your partner runs away, wastes a lot of ammo and is then killed. AI partners will never, ever use explosives as far as I can tell. If you're playing as Sheva, your view is switched (which is very disorienting) – but I also think the AI was programmed to stand to your left side. Which means they're out of the way if you're Chris, but block all your shots and gets in the way if you're Sheva. There's one particularly aggravating boss where Sheva suggests that we attack from both sides, sandwiching the enemy in a sort of pincer movement. It's a great idea, which makes it frustrating that she absolutely won't do this and just runs around uselessly. I do remember having a good time when I played through in genuine co-op with a friend, but that was a long time ago, and who has friends willing to play through re5 with them now? Or friends at all for that matter? There's quite a long section that's an on-rails shooter. It's quite depressing as you slaughter lots of men and destroy lots of motorbikes. I often feel like the game taunts me with things I'm not going to do. The best example is a bit where you meet a giant (el gigante from RE4). The first time I was really excited to fight it, and then was appalled to discover you don't fight it at all, but just get back on the car to shoot at it with the mingun. Story wise, it's OK but there's a lot of retconning and unnecessary detail. Like the file that explains how Umbrella needed to buy irrigation pumps. There are also unlockable files where you can read backstory. Far too much of it. 30+ pages of this shit for each entry. We learn shocking facts like how Sheva used to do the shopping. Or there's this dreadful shit that tells us medicine is now an integral part of medicine. Wesker's back, and yes, he's full of shit and constantly drones on about nonsense. There are some other people being mysterious and conspiratorial, like this weirdo who sounds like Meowth. Wesker talks far too much, and is in far too many boss fights. There's one where he says “Seven minutes. That's all the time I have to play with you”, which always amused me at how blatantly it exposes the game mechanics. The final fight with him is horrible, though I do like it when he shouts “Chriiiiis!” Again the AI is really unhelpful, it's unclear what you're supposed to do, and there's lots of instant death and unskippable cutscenes. The game is over quite abruptly really. I didn't want more, just the story and gameplay arc didn't feel like it went anywhere. There was a beginning, middle and end, but I didn't really feel like I was invested in any of it or that anything was developed much. Once the main game ends there's a lot more content. There are 30 BSAA emblems in the game to find and shoot, like the blue medallions in 4 or the handprints in revelations. You absolutely will not find most of them without a guide even if you're looking for them. There's a great version of mercenaries, and the mercenaries reunion. If anything there's too much here. Many character loadouts and stages. I feel a bit fatigued having already played this extensively and the mercenaries 3d on the 3ds which was very similar. If you haven't already had enough, it's a very good version. I try desperate escape, which was originally paid DLC. I have no memory of whether it was any good. You play as Jill, which means horrible men flirt with you all the time. It's fairly challenging, with some fairly normal combat punctuated by intensely difficult choke-points. You're constantly getting knocked off your feet, which is very annoying. The scenario culminates in a timed survival showdown (which feels a bit mercenaries). I perform terribly and die several times but am awarded an S rank. I try Lost in Nightmares, which I remember being fun. It's set in a mansion that is very similar to the one from RE1. There are door opening animations, and even a hidden static camera mode, which is fun but impractical and ends after the first section. The best thing about this scenario is that it's reminiscent of RE1. The worst thing about this is that it's entirely reliant on being reminiscent of RE1. There's moonlight sonata again. There's a copy of the keeper's itchy tasty diary purely for nostalgia's sake. How and why could that have possibly be brought here? In more exciting news, Lost In Nightmares marks the return of the mysterious urinal with toilet roll dispenser beside it, previously seen in RE4. The main story beats were covered by the main campaign, but there is some more detail here, mostly told through some excruciatingly dull diary entries from a boring butler. There's not much combat. There is one kind of enemy, which is pretty creepy, but slow-moving and another bullet-sponge. I get killed and am shocked to discover there are no continues. Later I discover that there are continues and I must have been mashing the wrong button. This scenario feels a bit padded out, when there's a puzzle that's repeated 4 times. It ends with another utterly dire boss fight with Wesker. Again he just dodges all your bullets and zooms about and kicks your ass. At least he's quiet this time. I have another go at the campaign, as Sheva, to see if I've missed anything much and if I'm less disappointed when I know what to expect. Yes, I guess so. There's a lot of good stuff in here. Mainly that it's trying to be more of Resident Evil 4 and uses the same engine. But I'm always impressed at the amount of stuff they've managed to fuck up, and how many obviously wrong decisions they seem to have made. I think, in the end, it's about one third brilliant game, one third padding, and one third stupid shit. Next, a game I know nothing about.
  3. I watched it this week, it was alright but I didn't like the second half of the film so much.
  4. I had a quick check to find out what the minimum wage was in 1995, and there wasn't one! When the minimum wage was introduced in 1999, it was £3 an hour for 18-21 year olds, and £3.60 for people aged 22 or above. Those attendants in 1995 were probably paid less.
  5. Yep, there was! I didn't get to play it, it was swarming with bigger boys.
  6. Plenty of posters here like Pokémon and JRPGs. I think that it would be better to not be so judgemental and rude about people just because they like things. I'm sure lots of people could (and do) think negatively about you for liking the things that you like.
  7. I saw this yesterday and thought it was the perfect film to watch on international men's day.
  8. I did wonder this, there's obviously more than one! I think they tried to put too many twists in the story, so there are lots of potential revelations, none of which have any relevance to any other game in the series. In fact I think it directly contradicts the information about the BSAA in RE5. If you really care
  9. I'm glad someone's getting something out of my weird writing at least! I think that I'd recommend a lot of other games before 5. I hadn't thought about how the enemies melt in 5 (and 4) too! I think it's more sort of physics-y. The enemies get blasted and can fall over in a variety of ways, and then bubble away where they land. In Revelations they start standing, then melt in place into a pile of gore, the same way every time. A bit like PSO and the enemies that fell through the floor and melted into bloodstains. I can see where you're coming from on RE2! On release I absolutely loved the remake, but after a gap of a couple of years, and having just played the original I had a lot less fun. I think I might have been a bit too harsh in this thread but not all the changes were good ones. I think revelations is weird and doesn't quite live up to some of the main entries in the series, but it's mostly fun to actually play. 4. On the PC with the HD texture pack, but any version other than the PS2 one is probably fine. Of the classic style games, RE1 2002 remake. On the PC or any modern console. I haven't played 6, 8, or revelations 2 yet but I doubt my answer's going to change.
  10. Resident Evil : Revelations (2012/2013) I'm doing this in story order, not release order, so apparently Revelations comes between 4 and 5. I remembered having a great time with this on the 3DS, but I haven't played it since release. Straight away the story is complete madness. The backstory is this. Do you remember in 2004 when they built a floating city powered by a giant sun/laser satellite? Terragrigia? Well! A terrorist organisation that we've never mentioned before let loose a bunch of hunters, and a government organisation that we've never mentioned before burned the entire city by turning the giant sun/laser satellite thing hot and then the city sank. One year later, Jill and Chris and their new partners are investigating the apparent return of the terrorist group by going to a boat and a mountain. It's pure sci-fi madness, and is a bit different to the other resident evils. Story and setting wise, it feels like a 3rd party side game. Gameplay wise, it feels pretty great. The controls aren't a big departure from RE4 and 5. I'm surprised at how good the graphics are on the PC version. It's not all good though, there are occasional framerate issues, and the loading is far longer than it should be on a PC with a solid state drive. ther than Chris and Jill, there are a whole host of new original characters. Your boss is Columbo. There's the long hair man whose face is a bit chubby. There's the hilarious bantz ladz. There's the sex woman who talks about sex and wants to have sex with everyone and shows off one leg by removing one leg from her wetsuit. There's the young cadet with the scrunched up old man face and old man name, Raymond. The cruise ship as a setting is very cool. It's moody and spooky, and has a real nasty atmosphere. The office building in terragrigia is less interesting. The snowy airport is OK. The combat feels a little bit floaty in a weird way, like everything is sort of gliding around and you often don't feel like you're in the same space. It's less immersive than RE4. The enemies all melt away once defeated, which makes it obvious that you're playing a game designed for a less powerful system. The aiming is really forgiving as well unlike the newest games. In a weird way it all reminds me of Phantasy Star Online, which is a game that I loved. You play most of the game with an AI controlled partner. Usually they shoot stuff, and can stun enemies, but they don't seem to be able to ever actually kill them. They can usually be ignored. The enemy design is very different and is stylistically a departure from other games. They're inspired by horrible deep sea fishy things, which is a kind of horror that I think is often overlooked in the genre. Things that suck, spindly things with little legs, things that do sonar sounds, things with faces where you wouldn't expect. They're all quite weird. Sometimes that's great, sometimes it's a bit of a messy let-down. Some of the bosses feel like a dip in quality and act a bit like bullet sponges, you don't get a great sense of the battle progressing. There's also one section that turns into an on-rails shooter. One of those classic resident evil on-rails shooters that everyone remembers and loves. The game has “previously on resident evil” flashbacks between episodes, which is a great idea if you've just started playing after a long break, but totally unnecessary when you're having a long session and it's recapping what you just did. They're skipable. The pacing is a bit off, it feels like I'm being rushed in quite a lot of sections. The music reflects this, it's often a bit too urgent. There's also quite a lot of backtracking and replaying the bits you've just done, which is a bit sad. Weirdly there's a large unique room – the solarium and swimming pool – which is never entered during the story, and you're never prompted to go there. You have to deliberately go the wrong way to explore it. It seems like a shame and a waste that so many people will miss it by playing the game normally. According to the steam global achievements, about 80% of players never see it. By the end of the game, I'm hardly engaged with the story. I've played twice in a row and I think I just about understand what happened. It amuses me that there's a twist, There's one major boss in particular as well that I don't think was ever explained. After finishing I was eager to try the 3ds version again. As well as wanting to check out the 3d, the graphics and controls, I'm sure there were some touch-screen puzzles and gimmicks that were removed (like the screwdriver puzzles, and a bit where you put your finger on a fingerprint reader). But, whoops, looks like I sold it at some point. And my 3ds is half-broken. I download the demo and try that out. The controls have been adapted to the 3ds brilliantly. The graphics are amazing for the console and the 3d effect is great. Aiming is in first person, which is better suited to the portable. The framerate is a worse than on PC, but otherwise it's an excellent version. The map is much better than the 3d one on the PC version too. I play raid mode for a bit too, I remember loving this on the 3Ds but I'm a bit less interested now. It's a kind of RPG-lite stage attack mode. Your character levels up, as do the enemies. You earn points, buy and find different guns with unique attributes. Some of the enemies have different powers eg. speedy, giant, high defence. This mode reminds me a lot more of Phantasy Star Online. On the PC it seems to be a bit more geared to playing in co-op mode. I think it's a little more appealing for quick blasts on a handheld. I get halfway through the first set of the raid levels, but I've pretty much had enough. I've played every bit of the game several times in a row now. I like this game, but I think it was the best on the 3DS, where it was more impressive game.
  11. Resident evil 4 (2005) Yep it's still one of the best games. I must have played this at least 10 times since it came out on the gamecube and Xbox 360. I was just going to do a quick run through of the steam version, but ended up playing the campaign on normal, operation ada, seperate ways, 5* with all characters on all stages of the mercenaries, a second campaign run on professional, and then a third play through the campaign with the infinite handcannon. It's just such a ridiculously good game. I don't see the point in talking about it really. If you're on this forum, in this thread, you absolutely must have played RE4 by now. So here's some screenshots of what the base game looks like on PC now. This is the part where I was going to say "and here's how it looks with mods", and then take the piss and post a bunch of screenshots where everyone's replaced with anime characters or naked or something. But then I found out the RE4HD fan project has been completed! It's incredible and makes the game look brilliant. Here's how the game looks with that mod Two of my favourite 2005 rllmuk resident evil 4 memories. The first is when I was asking who Krauser was. I'd never played RE3 or the side games, was he introduced in one of those? Nope, he's an entirely new character, he's just introduced as if anyone knows who he is. The second is the guy who posted that the game was shit and nowhere near as fast as everyone said it was. Leon can't even run! Then someone told him to press B to run, and he had a much better time and started to enjoy the game.
  12. Games are entertainment and you owe nothing to them. They're supposed to be fun, and if you're not having fun it's fine to stop playing. Unfortunately I complete most of the games I play because I seem to have something terribly wrong with me.
  13. I'm playing re4 at the moment, my main impression from the trailer is that it's slower and darker - like the other RE engine games. I'm a bit concerned that engine's not going to be a good for that generation of resident evil (4,5,mercenaries). Then again, that could just be the person playing the game to show it off rather than rushing and hammering through everything. And in any case, if I don't like it I can still play the original. No this is the worst take of the trailer so far
  14. I've just finished watching this, had to take a little break before the last episode because of the intensity. It's just relentlessly horrible, really shocking. With Curtis' other docs I felt like he was criticising systems he was a part of. With this, since it's a different culture it feels very, I don't know, harsh? Risky? I found it a little harder to trust his authority on the subject, like it might be more of an opinion piece. In a weird way it sort of reminded me of Africa Addio, that sense of damning, scathing criticism of a foreign culture. Great though! I'd love to know what some Russians who were around then think of it.
  15. Holy shit watch Friday night dinner you lunatics
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