You're hired. I don't know for what, but I'm hiring you for something. That was touched with genius!
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Posted by Sir DangerM on 19 October 2011 - 07:46 PM
You're hired. I don't know for what, but I'm hiring you for something. That was touched with genius!
Posted by Wahwah* on 21 February 2013 - 06:42 PM
The trouble with Nintendo
Here's some thoughts I've had about what's wrong with Nintendo.
Spend some money. Open more studios. Hire some new talent. Maybe set up a few studios in the West.
I don't know why this isn't happening. Nintendo have a great selection of IP. Titles like Zelda, Metroid and Mario, Mario Kart, Mario Golf, Mario Tennis, New Super Mario Bros, Starfox and of course Pokemon seem to do pretty well for them. These titles offer lots of different playing opportunities and conceivably mean Nintendo could offer something for everyone.
A lot of these games are so well established everyone knows what's going to happen before they play the game. Zelda? Hookshot now is it, oh no, my mistake, I'm getting the Boomerang now. I liked learning the spin attack again. No wait, it's a completely different game because in this one you ride about on a rhino instead of a horse.
Nintendo need not expend it's magic on these titles. Get them farmed out (like the GBC Capcom Zeldas or Namco's GC F-Zero) or hire more developers to make these games. They're guaranteed moneyspinners, and the formula is so well defined that it doesn't make sense to waste valuable talent on developing them. Instead, they should use their development superstar(s) to come up with new ideas and have them realised in exciting new pieces of software.
The Legends are always coming. Get the games made and on the shelves!
Nintendo have got so much IP that if they wanted to, they could release a fan favourite title every month for years. WiiU would have been THE console to have. Who could resist a launch with Mario, Metroid, Zelda and Mario Kart? Why don't they do it? Because they haven't got enough staff to make the games? They don't want to crowd out 3rd parties? Enjoy your big franchise title in 2 years time - the title that you bought a console on the strength of. The Legends Are Coming! What are Nintendo doing? Where are the games? Why do they take so long to release them? People would buy two Metroids, two Zeldas two whatever else's over the course of a console's life. As is, you get neither, loyal purchaser. Not for years. The legends ARE coming. Get third parties making your games and you're not choking them out either. As an aside, when did Nintendo stop development of games for Wii? It's not like they worked on Wii software until the WiiU was released was it? What are they doing? What have they been doing? Making top notch experiences like MiiVerse?
Why don't Nintendo make hardware that represents an advancement of the form? With the 3DS it's not so bad, but with the WiiU they've shot themselves in the foot in a big way. Got an Exclusive WiiU title coming, Ubisoft? Seen those Sales figures? They're terrible, aren't they? Fortunately for you, Nintendo created a console that's about as powerful as the ones that came out 7 years ago so you'll be able to port it across to the other consoles without too much bother. Nintendo have got the resistive screened beauty into people's hands, and they've done it a year before the next round of hardware releases occur. A full year to build up a massive userbase. No games. No Games. Why? Because they're being held back to simultaneously release on PS360, 3 months before those consoles have successors on the shelves. What about first party games though? No games. No Games. Why? Too slow to make them, not enough developers. Well, with this old tech the system must be nice and cheap, right? NO! They've packaged every single one with a controller that costs more than any other, not communicated why the controller is amazing and now nobody wants to pay extra for something that looks the same as the much better supported systems elsewhere in your favourite retailer's shop.
Let's invest in new IP. They'd have to hire more developers, OBVS (not allowed - $$$) but assume that they have new people onboard. Here's a Nintendo press conference: Miyamoto strolls out and says I am pleased to announce these brilliant new minds that I have been working with. They have brilliant games for you, I have been overseeing their ideas and I love them. They get the Miyamoto Seal Of Approval and their games will be out before the PS4 is on shelves. PANDEMONIUM. Miyamoto says these games are amazing?!!? Who knows games better than he?! I cannot wait. What does Miyamoto do now? Is he fully onboard with many games? How long until he retires? Nintendo need to get their eggs out of that basket and start promoting for the future.
Imagine a release schedule like this:
February: New Miyamoto approved IP
June: Smash Bros
July: New Miyamoto IP
August: Mario Tennis
September: Rayman Legends (An authentic third party title, just for fun!)
December: Pokemon Hue of Choice
Bit Better than
January: Relax, post Christmas
April: Port of last year's PS360 hit with controller gimmick tacked on.
And so on, Isn't it?
Not possible? Why? Get the games made and out on shelves. Hey, Capcom, fancy making some money? Knock us up a Starfox will you? People want to buy it.
Why is everything always cheap with them? Tiny battery when there's room for a big one. I've got to charge it up every ten minutes now. Oh, I can't be bothered. Why's the web browser on 3DS so bad? Like worse than a £100 smartphone bad. Why's the screen always so bad on Nintendo stuff? Like worse than on a £100 smartphone bad. Why does their hardware match last gen's specs? Why do purchases/downloads take forever in the E-shop? How much money did you save on that battery, the slow processor and the crappy screen? Was it worth making a product that irritates? Why bother putting a web browser in 3DS if it's that bad? Just don't do it.
5) Tight arses
How old's this game now? 25 years. How many times have people bought it now? About 5 times each. Hmm. How much shall we sell it on the E-Shop for? £12? Hmm. Let's go for £13.99. Nintendo sell everything from their back catalogue at it'd be rude to prices. Who wants this stuff enough to pay real money for them? As in, in significant numbers? Do I want to buy their system when I know I'm going to be paying top price for everything all the time? I'm not so keen. Will I get to keep those purchases? No, the account doesn't transfer and they want to charge me again later.
I think Nintendo need to invest in their future. Refusing to do so has screwed over the WiiU, the people who've bought it and the developers who've started work on games for the platform.
If they want to ignore the rest of the world I don't know why they don't do it properly, they could go completely self sustaining and only have Nintendo games on their platforms.
And that's some of what I think about Nintendo.
EDIT: Neg away, don't read - just neg, Nintendo fans.
Posted by Goose on 06 January 2013 - 05:28 PM
Posted by macosx on 09 June 2013 - 06:39 PM
With all the excitement/confusion/rage brought on by the the xboxone launch presentation I thought I'd make a short clip about it.
Hope youenjoy 'bONEd'
Posted by Timmo on 14 March 2014 - 06:10 PM
So I wrote to Andy Barker 15/03:
Well Mr Andy Barker is the current Director of Sony PlayStation Customer Services. His e-mail, which will in all likelihood just go to his pa, but its worth a shot is email@example.com. Phone no. 0207 859 5484
You have my sympathies, Timmo, dealing with Sony customer support. It took me over a month to get them to replace my Dualshock 4 because it just refused to charge any way I tried. I was at the point of emailing this chap when I finally got one through the post from them. So yeah, you will probably need to keep at them a while.
Will update when I get a response.
I'm writing to you directly hoping you can help me here. I've used Sony for many years and as an early adopter of PS4 I have generally found your service outstanding.
However in the last couple of days I have become very disappointed and even angered with the treatment I've received. It has left me disillusioned with Sony.
Last night I set my PS4 to download some updates, before plugging the new controller into my PS3 to play Dark Souls 2 on it.
Twenty minutes later I receive an email on my tablet thanking me for paying £56.68 for two items. One some dlc for a game I don't own, the other FIFA 14, a game I already own on disc!
Shocked, I switched my tv over to my PS4 to discover the controller had been active on both consoles simultaneously, and my inputs had caused it to make the purchases without my knowing!
I instantly called your support line but frankly, although I wasn't called a liar directly, I was told that what had just happened is impossible and the controller cannot control both devices. This was obviously very upsetting for me as I do not appreciate the implication attached to this.
Furthermore I was told that I would not be getting a refund!
This morning I had a call from another member of your support staff (I had requested an escalation) and he also told me a refund wouldn't be coming. He went on to say that such refunds are in fact impossible for digital content. I asked for it to be escalated again but my request was dismissed.
Following the call I looked online to easily find examples of refunds Sony had given for online purchases, showing that either the support manager was misinformed or not being truthful with me.
This is why I write to you now, as I feel Sony have let me down hugely here. Considering the years of loyalty I have had with your company I find the way I have been treated extremely disappointing and disrespectful.
I am writing hoping you can supply me with a more positive outcome. I look forward to your response.
My psn id is Pangram.
Posted by Pob on 10 July 2012 - 05:56 PM
Posted by Sir DangerM on 12 October 2011 - 06:29 PM
Posted by SM47 on 22 November 2013 - 06:49 PM
My Dad passed away earlier this week, it's been an incredibly stressful time. I went to watch Dredd with him and my brother and our girlfriends last year, the final familial cinema excursion as it turned out. But bloody hell, I'm so glad this film was the last one we watched together at the cinema. It was like all the sci fi/action films we'd watch when I was growing up distilled down into an hour and a half. I'll never forget sitting next to my old man, staring up at the screen with our 3D glasses on, loving every moment. On reflection, Dredd was the best film I've ever seen at the cinema and I'm so glad I was able to share the experience of watching it with my Dad. I won't ever be able to watch or think about it without thinking of him.
Posted by Wahwah* on 26 August 2012 - 12:54 PM
Posted by Laine on 14 December 2011 - 01:26 PM
Posted by macosx on 22 June 2013 - 07:54 PM
Made another vid after the DRM U-turn,. Hope you like it
(mods if you feel it should go in the uturn folder pse move)
Posted by Don Rosco on 04 June 2012 - 05:20 PM
Posted by Dandy_Sephy on 11 June 2013 - 02:56 AM
Posted by Goose on 27 October 2013 - 07:22 PM
I've taken the decision to stop writing a weekly box office report. It's been a huge part of my life for many years, and I've done my best to turn in a report every Sunday evening, but all (quite) good things must come to an end.
Writing about film box office is a strange game, and offers something a little different most weekends. You're writing about film, but in a different way to a critic or a fan. I've never been a very good reviewer but in brief moments, I considered myself a pretty good box office reporter. I will miss writing each week, but for reasons I can't quite explain, now seems like the right time to stop.
I want to thank every one who has read, commented and shared the weekly reports, I hope people found something entertaining and informative within. I tried to fill them with things that you'd not often see in other similar work, and I hope that made them different enough for people to seek out and enjoy. I did my best to research any facts and figures I used because I felt that if people were willing to give up their time to read my work, they deserved something worthy of that effort in return. I hope I succeeded in that.
Box Office Voodoo will stay online until the domain name expires, and if I get chance one day, I'll compile all the reports I have into one document and make it freely available. If you're in need of an excellent replacement, I can't recommend Scott Mendelson's Forbes column highly enough - https://www.facebook...etBoothAtForbes
Thank you for your time and support over the days, months and years, it has always been very much appreciated.
Posted by MDY on 31 January 2011 - 03:16 PM
Posted by Uncle Mike on 07 June 2012 - 09:14 PM
Posted by RobNoyce on 12 July 2011 - 06:18 PM
I read it as Shatner Hand at first. I would buy that game.
Posted by Mr. Pickle on 31 March 2012 - 04:47 PM
Posted by The Grand Pursuivant on 06 March 2014 - 10:00 AM
I'm going to interrupt the puns and understandable cynicism for a second because I have just got some mind-blowingly awesome news and I need to tell everyone about it, including strangers on the internet.
When they announced they were going to be filming Star Wars at Pinewood, I realised that despite the chance of success being infinitesimally small, I could maybe, just maybe, get a job on it. I have some experience in Film and TV, a couple of minor credits to my name, and I am a sole trader for my own small but moderately successful media company, so I figured it was worth a shot. About a year ago through great blaggery and extreme luck I managed to get the email for the 1st Assistant Director. I sent off an incredibly speculative email asking for a job, it somehow evaded his spam filter, he actually read it, and even more shockingly he responded. He said he wasn't making any promises but that he might have something, and offered to meet me at Pinewood. I went in August, had a very informal interview, got to see the R2D2 prototype, waved at JJ Abrams, and was told that there would probably be a job for me when they started filming in January, but that he didn't know what yet, probably a runner. I also asked if he would tell me anything about the plot and he laughed for a full minute. Worth a shot though, right?
He told me to keep emailing him to remind him that I exist, and that he would let me know when everything was finalised. I did that for a few months, and in November I was told the script wasn't finished and that shooting had been put back to May. Then I didn't hear back from him, despite sending an email out at least once a week asking what was happening. Worried that I had fucked up my chance, I got my nerve up and called him on his mobile yesterday to find out what was going on. He answered, was incredibly apologetic about not getting back to me and told me they were finalising their schedule and he would update me with more information tomorrow.
So this morning I received an email telling me that, in the summer*, bar yet more scheduling delays, the movie being cancelled, or the death of JJ Abrams**, I am going to be one of the PAs to the 2nd Assistant Director on the set of the new Star Wars film.
I'm basically going to be moving equipment, wrangling extras and making people coffee, which I thought I had finished with years ago, but, you know, instead of doing it on a Nick Love film I'm going to be doing it on FUCKING STAR WARS. My emotional state has been a bit like this since I found out:
So fucking excited. This is going to be awesome.
* I have a start date but I'm not going to risk anything by posting it on a public forum.
** He may not have actually mentioned those last two parts in the email.
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